Ever feel as if no one notices you? Ever sense that you've become one of the crowd and no one cares what you think or say? Or, after someone has been close to you for years, you discover that they don't really "know" you? Depending on the circumstance, perhaps this is reality...... perhaps it's only perceived. Regardless, this is a feeling many of us struggle with - I know I do. When an event or circumstance causes this feeling to grow, we sometimes mistakenly relate this feeling to how God views us. Especially since we never see His face - rarely hear His audible voice. It can be easy to think that He doesn't see, and doesn't know me.
A while back, I went out for dinner with a large group (non-family). We took up several large tables and the restaurant was full of other people as well. As dinner was served, I noticed that our water glasses had not been filled. {I was extremely thirsty.} I asked the waitress if she could fill our glasses. She nodded, smiling. Returning a few minutes later with a pitcher of water, she began filling glasses at one of the other tables. I watched as she filled glasses at each table - making several trips back to the kitchen to refill her pitcher - before finally making her way to the one where I was seated. She then proceeded to fill every glass at the table but mine. I tried to catch her attention before she left, but unfortunately, she didn't hear me. Granted, there were a lot of people there - and she was SO busy - but since I was the one who asked, I figured she would remember to fill mine. Not so. After asking another waiter for water, I continued my meal. A third request also went unnoticed. I sat there feeling very invisible. "Am I that forgettable?" I wondered. By the time I'd finished, I still had not received water. To top it all off, my glass was taken before I could stop them! Looking back on it now, it's quite humorous. {How could that many people forget my water?!} At the time it was not. I'd had a hard week and a particularly hard day and my mood had seen better days.
When I begin to feel invisible, I almost unknowingly question whether God sees me - whether He actually notices my feelings, my hardships..... me, as a person. King David must have felt this way. In numerous Psalms {chapters 10, 13, 44, 88 and 89} he asks God where He is - is He hiding? How long will He keep His distance?
Many years before David, another experienced these fears - and she had very good reason. Cast out by her mistress and harshly treated, she faced a long hard road of exclusion, loneliness and anguish. Until Someone saw her and sent deliverance. When Hagar looked up and saw the angel of the Lord before her, her hope was renewed. Refreshed with nourishment for her empty exhausted soul she now saw God in a whole new light. Scripture tells us that she began to call Him by a new name. "I have seen the One who sees me" she stated.
To finish my story: After our meal was over I felt drained and tired. It had indeed been a long week. A friend came over, sat beside me and asked if I was doing OK. This opened the door for conversation and a little healthy expression. God, my Father, looking out for me through the care of a friend. Be willing to be that person who will listen - perhaps God is prompting you to give a smile or ask a simple question in order to show His love to someone who is hurting.
And in every circumstance we can say with Hagar "Thou God seest me...." (Gen. 16:13)
